Random Yaoi Things
by pheonix.maiden
Summary: Soriku one shot & Odyssey Parody
1. Chapter 1

**Jade Request**

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, own Kingdom Hearts. And that sucks. :'[

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Boys and girls had traveled from all around the world to participate in this national paintball competition. (Well, not as many girls, because they kind of suck at paintball for the most part.) Riku was grateful that all the girls had gotten out during the third round. Now it could get a little more…aggressive.

It was the 5th and final round. Riku was slightly bruised from the previous rounds, but still in the game. The previous rounds had all been groups against each other. This last round would be one on one. He hadn't seen his opponent before. All he knew was that his name was Sora. He didn't know what to expect.

Sweat dripped down Riku's face. He was exhausted, but no way in hell was he going to lose after coming this far. Suddenly the siren sounded and the doors opened. He only had seconds to observe his environment before ducking behind a bale of hay. That's pretty much all there was: bales of hay and black, wooden shields. He couldn't even see his opponent, Sora. He'd jumped behind a shield. All he knew was that Sora was a brunette and about a head shorter than himself.

Riku glanced around and couldn't see Sora, so he decided to move to a more protective shield. About 10 feet for him was a bigger, black, wooden shield. Perfect. He darted over, trying not to make a sound. Just before Riku reached the next shield, he heard a gun go off and was pretty sure it wasn't his. He fell behind the shield and searched himself for any trace of color. One shot and he loses……Nothing. Safe. And now he knew where Sora was. Without hesitation, Riku stood up, peered over the shield and saw him. Sora was standing right there…completely exposed. Riku had never seen anyone like him. His hair was brown and spiked up. His eyes…blue as the ocean. They bore right into Riku's mind.

Riku's finger was frozen on the trigger. Sora didn't move. No one did. Time stood still. Riku dropped his gun and fell back behind the shield and heard Sora dash for a safer spot. _Why couldn't he shoot him? What is it about this amazing blue-eyed boy?_ And the more important question: _How in the hell did he make it this far in this competition with crappy tactics like that? Seriously! He didn't even dodge!_ Riku was shocked into silence. He just sat there. He felt something that he'd never felt before. He felt as if he'd just been completely hollowed out, leaving only his heart to hang alone in his body…and he liked it.

Suddenly, he remembered where he was. In a game. Behind a shield. Not knowing where his opponent was. He glanced around with his gun at the ready. Nothing. Riku couldn't see the other boy. "Where are you Sora?" Riku mumbled to himself. His name sounded so amazing out loud. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw movement.

Sora was right behind him. _Damn it! _Before he could even think, Riku had dodged Sora's shot and fired the trigger directly into Sora's stomach. Sora fell backward and the crowd cheered. But Riku didn't hear it. He walked over to Sora's body, laying on the floor. _Holy shit! Did he pass out?_

"Mrph," Sora grumbled. "Lucky shot." His voice was so melodic. _Wait a second…_

"Lucky shot, my ass!" Riku fumed as he helped Sora up. The touch of Sora's hand made Riku's skin tingle.

He suddenly found himself being dragged backward. That damn announcer again. How Riku hated him. He was so damn peppy. His long, spiky, red hair could poke someone's eye out. And that annoying, nasally voice. And Riku was pretty sure that he had tried to molest him on more than one occasion.

After being declared the winner, receiving the giant trophy, and escaping from the annoying, rapist announcer; Riku searched desperately for Sora. He needed to feel his skin tingle again. He needed to feel that electricity. After about an hour, Riku had given up hope and went to sulk by the lake. Unfortunately, his normal, emo sulking spot was taken by none other than Sexy McBlue-Eyes. He was leaning against a tree with a pouty look on his face. After regaining his composure, Riku walked over to Sora and laid his hand on his shoulder. Sora jumped, then relaxed at seeing who it was. "Oh…" Sora continued pouting. "Hey, Cheap Shot."

"It was not a cheap shot," Riku scoffed. "You just weren't fast enough."

"You could have shot me earlier," Sora mumbled. "Why didn't you? I was right there in the open."

"I didn't think it was very sportsman like to take advantage of such a weak opponent," Riku covered.

"You didn't take advantage of me," Sora said, flustered.

Riku stepped closer to him, less than an inch apart, and leaner down to Sora's ear. "Exactly," Riku breathed. "But I could've." He moved his head back slightly but stayed just as close. Riku and Sora locked eyes, not breaking.

Sora finally blushed and turned away, "I still think I could've beaten you."

"Oh, I'm sure you're good at other things," Riku whispered. "Care for a rematch?" Before Sora could answer, Riku's lips met his.

Of course, Riku was better at that as well. That wasn't to say Sora didn't put up a good fight. When a pair of lips crashed into Sora's own, he tried to pull back, then realized this was just another fight. He immediately pushed back against the silver haired teen, who smirked into the kiss.

Riku forced Sora's mouth open and shoved his tongue in. The smaller boy jolted. A battle took place, which Riku won, naturally. After a few moments, both pulled back at the demand for air.

The boys stood gasping; Sora leaned against a tree, Riku with his forehead resting against Sora's. Riku smirked as he caught his breath.

"So," he said, smirking at the brunette. "Care for another round?"

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A/N So this is my first one shot. I'm more of a Akuroku gal, but my friend Jade wanted me to write a Soriku one shot, so I figured what the hell? lol.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer : The day I own Kingdom Hearts or any of it's characters is the day my cat grows a pair (That will never happen. He's a total girl. lol.)

**The Yaoi Struggle (An Odyssey Parody)**

Tell me, Elicia Master of Yaoi, about the woman of many personalities,

Who struggled within herself to remain a supporter of hetero pairings.

She read of the lust in Axel's eyes and struggled harder.

During her struggle, she was horribly scarred,

Seeing some visuals which should never be seen.

She was unable to resist the calls of Yaoi, though she tried:

Roxa's flexibility and the vivid imagery were too great to withstand.

Jade, prophet of Yaoi, laughed at the struggle,

Of the girl who only knew hetero ways.

Tell the story for us, beginning with the day after,

The struggle between hetero and Yaoi began.

When the sides had been chosen,

And the lone girl struggled between.

Yet she alone, wanting to be a hetero fan,

Was trapped by Jade, prophet of Yaoi, who strives to increase fangirl numbers,

To the squealing land, that fan girls call home.

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A/N We had to write a parody in class & I did this. Yeah. I'm wierd. lol.


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